I'm admitting this because I feel like I look around- when I'm out and on facebook (eek)- and it seems like everyone else has it all together. I know it's probably not true, but it definitely seems that way! It seems that EVERYONE else is handling this mommy thing so beautifully- kids with trendy haircuts and ironed clothes, perfect manners, making homemade Valentines and playing at the park, fixing gourmet meals, packing organic school lunches, and going on dates with their husbands (looking stunning in their pre-pregnancy clothes), kids involved in every sport and activity....etc....etc....
I am absolutely sure I'm guilty of putting on this persona, too-
so for the record- that's not me! I'd never want to make another mom feel like they don't measure up (because it sucks* to feel that way). *I don't even let my kids use that word, so watch out 'cuz mama's on a rant!
So here's an honest snapshot of my last 48 hours- A beautiful mess?? Well, if you consider wearing the same clothes for 2 days straight and stuffing down Rolo's while simultaneously breastfeeding and cleaning up a ketchup spill beautiful, than I guess you could call it my beautiful mess!
Yesterday was rough. It felt like I was drowning in the daily chores with no way to catch up, let alone start on the packing. Everyone wanted and needed a piece of me and I felt stretched so thin. Caleb wanted to play catch with the football in the living room (something we actually do on a daily basis...like I say, we choose our battles!), Ellie had meticulously set up the Monopoly game on the kitchen table because I told her I'd play with her (she waited forever and we actually never played....another mommy fail), William wanted me to read his "Miss Nelson is Missing" book for the third time, and Tessa needed fed again (and was making her needs known to everyone in quite a loud fashion!- the tiny little girl has quite a scream). Is it 6 o'clock yet???
Then I got a group facebook notification from the Heritage Elementary PTO, saying thanks to all the lovely parents who helped make the Teacher Appreciation Dinner such a huge success. Sounds great, right? Well, except that I COMPLETELY forgot to make, let alone drop off, the brownies I signed up to make. oops. fail.
And then there's William, who decided he didn't appreciate losing his place as baby of the family. So he has resorted to completely un-potty training himself. Because, in his very own words, "babies poop in their diapers, and I want to be the baby." Oh. my. stars. How do I keep my patience? Any advice, please send it my way. Because I feel so guilty for getting upset with him! And guilty for not playing that game of Monopoly, or catch, or reading the book, or cleaning the house, or doing the laundry, or packing the house, or basking in the new baby bliss, or counting my blessings......
Let's just say, by the end of the day, after all my desperate texting, Dan was secretly calling my friend to request an intervention- in the form of girl time and stiff drink. I'm not joking.
Then he made everyone scrambled eggs for dinner.
Well, here's us this morning. We went to the Zoomin market (it was my first time, and it's amazing- you just order your groceries online and then you drive in and they load them in your car. wow. yes.). It was desperate measures- our meager rations of rice cakes and peanut butter were no longer sustaining our family of 6 (or 7 if you include Samson, who was also completely out of dog food).
You'll notice that Caleb is in athletic shorts and a T shirt, and socks. And Ellie is wearing her sleeping slippers. And the temp on my dash says 16 degrees. Well, I won't be winning the mother-of-the-year award, but it was a battle I just couldn't fight this morning.
The most amazing part? As the guy was loading the groceries, the back hatch was open and freezing cold air was blowing into the backseat, and Caleb says, "Mom, I should have listened to you!" Score one for mom!!
Zoomin market turned out to be a little pricier, but we were desperate, people. Like ZERO food. To the point where I walk up to my pantry in the evening and think, "OK, so what can I make out of a can of black beans and some single-serving applesauce squeeze pouches?" I think I'd actually pay upwards of $20 for a gallon of milk at this point, if that means I don't have to take all the kids to WalMart. Let's just say: Been there. Tried that. If you've read this blog before you know that I've diagnosed my kids with a WalMart allergy- every time we go they get this horrible reaction- read: fits, crying, whining, sneaking treats into the cart, diaper blowouts, fighting, and one stressed out mama. So yes, Zoomin market is totally worth it.
Ellie was unloading the groceries, and was absolutely thrilled that we have real food now. She said, "CALEB!! Look!! Mom got yogurt!!"
On another note, I've decided to give up on trying to lay Tessa down at this point. We've resorted to the baby carrier. We are in survival mode. She sleeps all day and then decides to be SUPER awake at bed time...help. But on the bright side, this is my view all day :
Oh, and do you know what William said to me? Out of the blue, yesterday he said, "Mom. Jesus is always with us. He is always with you." Oh my heart!! This child- how can someone cause me so much stress and then turn around and melt my heart? I think God knew I needed to hear that. Funny how he uses the littlest ones to bring us back to reality.
Well, I'm going to go treat myself to another Rolo, and try to find some caffeine around here.
Here's to a happy day.....
XOXO, Lisa
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