TheLinharts

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about"

~Angela Schwindt

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I guess maybe because we've had several of those moments where your child does or says something or reacts a certain way, and you cringe and think, "Wow, that was me". I see my kids unknowingly imitating me. It's usually hard to take, because it's the things I don't even like to admit about myself- my shortcomings, quick temper, selfishness, self-reliance, insecurities. I guess it's true: "More is CAUGHT than TAUGHT" when it comes to parenting. Needless to say, these occurrences are usually the "EEK! Don't be like me!" ones, rather than the "Ah, you ARE catching on!" ones. This is quite convicting.

However, rather than wallow in the guilt of all the "bad" things my kids absorb from me, I thought I'd focus on all that I absorb from them. It's all quite good, lovely, innocent, beautiful. Gary Thomas says it well, (I keep this quote on my fridge and read it often), "Parenting invites us into a very complex process of sanctification. We'll mature, or we'll collapse- but we won't remain unchanged."

Here are some things my three littles have taught me so far....

1. A happy heart makes the face cheerful. Kids- they just don't fake it. Their innocence doesn't allow it. When they are mad, they'll let you know (Ellie for sure!). But, my friends, when their heart is happy....

2. Change: (sigh). It happens, embrace it. You know your life has changed when going to the bathroom alone is a vacation. I barely get a handle on the current stage, and we're on to a new one. They change so fast!! This colicky little newborn (don't let this sweet picture fool you :) :

Ok, this is more like it:

Is now a kindergartener!

Or how about this (2007, pregnancy #1):

Flash forward 6 short years:

Ok, one more!

This (+Dan. I think he's the photographer):

and BOOM- 6 years later- we created THIS, with one other newborn Hunnicutt (he was not yet born in this pic):

My friends, you know that I resist change with every fiber of my being. I love my routines, my safe happy-place of being in "control". Kids remind me that this is an illusion. God knew I needed many reminders! Change. Happens. #dealwithit. Lord help me!!!

3. OK. Thing 3. Sloooooow down. So, I'm not any good at this either, but I'm being forced to practice. All of you with littles know that nothing happens on our time schedule. Pre-kids I was a multitasking, check-off-the-list, super productive, get-it-done kind of person. I could run all my errands in record time (even mapping out my route where to go, when, what order, to get it done.done.done.), and be home in time to sip tea and read a good book. I could check things off my to-do list like a boss. Oh how things change. I can hardly get out the door on time in the morning, and half the time I forget something. I almost went to work in my slippers once. true story. (if you want a visual, they are gold and covered in sequins). Now it seems there's just not enough time in the day. I have a lot to learn from my kids on this. They just naturally take it slow- they explore, dawdle, admire the sky and the flowers, change clothes 4 times, eat bite by bite, tell long elaborate stories, dance around and daydream.

They literally stop to smell the flowers and name the worms:

and even take the time to give a perfect portion of cheese to their pasta pets (true story, see below).

I recently read *this* article, and it slapped me in the face- I never thought about how often I say these two little words to my little "lovers-of-life": HURRY UP. (*cringe* When I started paying attention to it, I realized that I say it waaaaay more often that I'd like to admit). I really don't want to be that bully who pushes and pressures and hurries these little ones who just want to enjoy life! My kids teach me every day that life is sweeter and love comes easier when I stop rushing through life. And I need that reminder. Every. Day.

3. I'm always safe. What!? Let me explain. Our kids know that they are always safe in our arms. They trust in the safety of our love. Where do they go when they get hurt? Where do they like to be in an unfamiliar place? Where do they like to be at bedtime (or for Will, any and every time!)? In my arms (or daddy's).

I know it won't be forever, but I love it. So, in the same way, they've helped me understand the love that God has for me. A parent's love. In the same (but way more perfect) way, He loves me. There have been many times He has blessed me, held me, carried and protected me throughout my life. And at the end, He will always catch me in His loving arms.

4. Legacy.

Raising kids has a way of magnifying all my shortcomings. Having six little eyes always watching, and six little feet following my footsteps has a way of bringing to light things I didn't even know about myself! I suppose I should apologize to them in advance for all the bad habits and quirks they will inevitably absorb just by being around me so much. However, I hope that beyond this, love will be my legacy.

I learned something about this from this beautiful lady:

Grandma Helen went to be with the Lord in July. Ever since I met her (when Dan and I were dating), I knew she was one of the sweetest people that had ever lived. Always so warm and loving! At her funeral services, over and over, people would comment on how she loved others so well. First and foremost, she and Coburn had a kind of love that is so rare and precious- married for 69 years, through so many trials, with an unwavering devotion to one another. EVERYONE commented on the amazing love they had for each other- such a rare and precious gift. I could only hope that Dan and I could share in something like this. Also, so many people talked about how she made a difference in their lives by loving and caring for them. As I observed, I just kept thinking, "THIS is a legacy of love."

God I pray that I could leave a legacy of love just like her.

6. I never knew how much I loved your daddy until I saw how much he loved you.

I am so blessed to be married to this man.

7. "I'm glad everything is not perfect- it makes you more real." ~my friend.

I keep thinking about these words from my friend. I had a party several weeks ago. It ended up being SUCH fun, but there were a series of small disasters leading up to it, and needless to say, my preparations were cut a bit short. First, we had a scare and thought that our big fat hairy caterpillar "Alex-Henry" escaped from his homemade habitat. Caleb was even late to school that morning because I had all the kids with flashlights looking under couches, etc....finally my mom found him clinging to the underside of a leaf...in his little house...WHEW! Then the house painters decided do start working the morning of the party, so we all had to dodge ladders and talk over the banging of the carpenters on the house. Then, to top it off, 30 min before the party, my washer flooded the laundry room...water flowing out...eek! As I was apologizing to all my friends for the chaos, one said, "I'm actually glad everything is not perfect- it makes you more real. Now when you come over to my house I won't feel like it all has to be perfect." The more I thought about it, it's true. The perfectionist in me always likes to keep things tidy, organized, clean, and decorated, always have a candle burning and homemade treats, ready to welcome guests....all creating an illusion that this is how I actually live day in and day out. not true. At any given time, there's usually at least one mess (usually milk spilled- like on my brand new chair today), one crying kid, billions of crumbs on the floor, stinky diapers, dirty dishes piling up, laundry littering the floor, toothpaste squirted in the sink. Thursday I found an entire roll of toilet paper (still on the roll) sitting in my toilet bowl soaking up who knows what....thanks Ellie! My friend's words were such a refreshing reminder to me. We actually do each other a disservice when we try to act like we have it all together all the time. It's those meltdown moments, those messy baseboards, those fingerprinted windows that make us more "real". We don't have to think, "why can't I have it all together like this person or that person?" but rather, "ok, this is normal!"

8. Sometimes all you need in life is a friend who has chocolate....and wine....enough said.

9. Lastly, sometimes we need a time out, or a "brain break" as Caleb calls it. Even mommies need time out. In fact, I would love for someone to put me in my room and close the door for a while. Why didn't I sleep more in college??

In this pic, Ellie was in timeout so long, she fell asleep-and apparently she was playing in my makeup because that's my makeup brush on the stair. Not sure what Will has in his hand...likely makeup also.